When you die, if you get to choose between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, then eternal happiness is better than eternal nothingness.

Elon Musk

how am i supposed to know i’m not eating a cockroach if no one tells me

david 🧋

“I feel really offended when you make jokes about white guys because you just look like every white guy” - a white guy

Vaush 🇺🇸 🇧🇫

My entire life is about science & tech. I will be the greatest science president, ever. And I will be the best president, ever.

So, I have 3 things to say to the youtube community.

Ranboo

its like i cant even but with more profanity.

wint

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

1. You have never lived until you've slept on a park bench.
2. A walk in the woods makes a man feel healthier and happier.
3. A walk in the woods makes 2 men feel healthier and happier.
4. A walk in the woods makes 3 men feel healthier and happier.
5. A walk in the woods makes 4

Wilbur Soot

...i'm not saying we can never make another star wars movie but if we do, i'm dead...

Morgan 🏳️‍⚧️ (doom patrol enjoyer)

ive been lying in bed all day thinking about how i hate math

what if instead of banning all guns, we banned all BULLETS??

prezoh

BREAKING: senator joe biden has tested positive for covid

transgender marx

i wonder if the cia will let me bring a kitten into the office

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