Left my keys in an Uber. I guess this makes me a Dumbass

TommyInnit

(in my most seductive voice) u: how was your day?

genetically engineered online girl

so tbh, i’ve never hated anyone as much as i do taylor swift.

I have just been informed by my stream chat that I look like the exorcist :D

To all fans who have inquired about the recent disappearance of the 1-Up Mushroom: I have removed it from the game. Regular content will now resume.

(picking up my dolls and tenderly kissing them on their cheeks) i love you my babies

imagine if all the memes were real. they'd still be memes

im gonna start a business selling Ketchup of Sadness

i think i'm going to just go ahead and say that william shakespeare was racist

obama's 2008 acceptance speech was the 1st time i cried watching a president speak.

omg i love it when the cheese in the cheezits gets hard

its ok every one. im not mad. its just that i broke both of my knees and couldnt get to my 9mm

omg queen elizabeth i still remember the day you were born

thinking 2019 will be the year i quit this stupid job